Wednesday, November 30, 2011

'Eating Plan' vs. 'Dieting'

Okay, folks, the correct answer to our Fire Exam question in the last post is "C".  If you got it right, well, congratulations to you.  If you get 3 right in a row, that's called a "streak."  If you got it wrong - don't sweat it, it's early in the game. 

You know what's strange about being on an "eating plan"?  I'll tell you.  I forget that I'm not DIETING.  You know how it is, right?  You decide to lose some weight, so you restrict certain foods from your diet (like, oh, everything that tastes good) and you lose weight.  However, as a Siren Sex Goddess/Firefighter in Training, I'm not actually TRYING to lose weight.  I'm just modifying my eating to maximize my health and turn myself into an super-charged Fire Wench.  I forget that I can actually eat a Mazda full of spinach or any other 'qualifying food' if I so choose...such is the life of an American woman.  It's all about the DIET.

Okay, so I'm not saying that dropping 10 pounds or so would be tragic.  I'm not exactly an Ethopian marathon runner.   But it's not like I have to shop in special stores or something.  And I could give you a rather short, yet prestigious, list of men who think I'm pretty rockin' hot.

Where are we going with this? HMMMMM...good question.  Suffice it to say that my mind is conflicted as to exactly what my mouth is trying to do with this whole plant-eating thing.

So, get this - this Friday TG and I are going to the Muppet movie, and I'm so excited, I can hardly wait.  Is it Friday yet?  How about now?  How about now?

Monday, November 28, 2011

Fire Destroying Powers - ACTIVATE!

And away....we....GO!

So, today we have sworn off all animal products and basically anything white - sugar, flour, all that jazz.  We are in training, after all, our bodies being morphed into fire-destroying machines even as we speak.

I won't give you a daily rundown of what I eat-seriously, are you that desperate for reading material? - but since it's Day 1, I figured I'd give you an idea of what I'm consuming now.

The Engine 2 Diet, as interpreted by the Siren Sex Goddess:


Gah, I have to eat BREAKFAST???!!!!  I detest eating in the morning!!!  Ugh.  Determined to turn over a new leaf, I started my day with an English muffin, smeared with a small amount of peanut butter, and a banana. 

Engine 2 says-approved, thank you very much.


Spinach - coconut milk yogurt - orange juice-frozen mango -banana smoothie.  Before you get all gaggy on me, don't knock it until you try it.  It was really frickin' yummy.  The hard part is getting all the blended spinach fragments out of your teeth before you have to go back to work.

Engine 2 says - pretty much approved; Rip probably wouldn't be so jazzed about the added sugar in the yogurt.  It's Day 1, don't judge me.


Old-fashioned oatmeal with soy milk and the teensiest bit of sugar on it.

FINE (rolling eyes) - and 2 Oreos that I ate while I was cooking said oatmeal.  Geesh, people, I was starving and it was the kind you have to cook for like 7 minutes to get it thick enough.

Engine 2 says - added sugar, boo hiss.  The Oreos - baby, they were totally worth it.

But you know what, my little chickens?  For day 1 of my firefighter training regime, I think I did pretty awesome.

To close, I thought I'd run one of my test prep questions by you.  Think you know the answer to this one? 

In your judgment, what is the best reason for fire hoses to be removed and reloaded on an apparatus at least once every 30 days?

a.  Hose tends to get brittle with little use.
b.  Water trapped within a hose after use can stagnate and deteriorate the lining.
c.  It reduces the possibility of bends becoming permanently set at certain points on the hoseline.
d.  It is just another menial job to keep firefighters constantly busy.

Well?  I'm waiting.....and no, I didn't make "d" up.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

You Will Learn Too, Grasshopper.

I ran across this highly educational video on the National Fallen Firefighter Foundation's Facebook page.  I'm pretty sure there's a section on "turkey fryers" on the FDNY exam, so I have committed this information to memory and am sharing it with you as well.

Of course, if you all were following the Engine 2 Diet, you wouldn't have to worry about starting a turkey fire to begin with.

My work here is done.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

A Friendly Reminder from the Siren Sex Goddess

As a firefighter in training, it's my civic duty to remind you, my readership, that you were supposed to change the batteries in your smoke detectors last weekend when the time changed.

Just like I did.


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

I Have a Plan.

As December 1st approaches full barrel, like Chaz Bono at the Dancing With the Stars after-party buffet, I thought I'd clue you all in on our itinerary.

Our Goals: 

1.     To reveal to my audience the facets of the firefighter "lifestyle" through research, methodical study, and dating a lot of firemen.  (Okay, the last part is more "wishful thinking" than "goal", but a girl can dream.)
2.     To spotlight the fire stations of Washington, particularly eastern Washington, by attending as many fire department-related events as I can, and blogging about them.
3.     To pass the FDNY firefighter written examination, and complete a physical training program which would enable me to pass the physical examination, by the end of 2012. (I can't take the actual physical exam; it involves too much equipment that I don't have access to.  And I don't want to fall off a ladder and die.)
4.     To survive the year with no herniated disks, broken ankles, or other injury as might be sustained by a 42-year old sloth attempting this endeavor.  I'll leave it to you to decide if I'm referring to the "dating" part or the "exercise" part here.

Our attack is 4-prong:  Nutrition, Exercise, Academic and Events.

Prong 1 - Nutrition.  I will start the "Engine 2 Diet" on December 1st, which is basically a vegan-ish diet written by firefighter Rip Esselstyn.  It is widely known that all firefighters eat a plant-based diet.  ~cough~

Okay, seriously...what fun would it be if I just decided to "eat healthy"?  Work with me here, people.  My physical pain is your humorous blog post gain. We are going PLANT STRONG, to quote the Mighty Rip.

Prong 2 - Exercise.  On January 1st, I will start the "Get Firefighter Fit" workout plan by Kevin S. Malley and David K. Spierer.  More details on that later, but it's basically a free-weight workout plan where you pretend like you are doing fire-related activities.  I've also got the FDNY physical preparation guidelines which we will be tromping through.  We will also be doing a Couch to 5k running plan, utilizing the mini-trampoline for the snow months. 

Prong 3 - Academic.  I have 3 separate exam prep books.  I anticipate spending 2 or maybe 3 months on each book, but that might change once I get started....Anyhow, that starts February 1st.

There is MATH involved.  Nobody mentioned that to me upfront, by the way.

Prong 4 - Events.  Well, this one is going to be a little more off the cuff, because volunteer fire departments in rural eastern Washington don't usually give you 4 months' notice that they are having an open house.  I'll be scouring the internet, particularly during the summer months, for community celebrations, etc to attend.  I'll be volunteering at the Scott Stairclimb in Seattle in March, which is a fundraiser for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.  And if I win the lottery, in September I'll go to New York for the opening of the 9/11 museum and the Tunnel to Towers run. 

And somewhere in all this, I have to find a man.  Note that I list this right after "win the lottery."  Hmmmm.

So there you have it, dearest reader.  My year, in a nutshell.  Fasten your seatbelts and keep your laptop battery charged.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

A Launch Date is a Fluid Thing, Really.

I've decided to move the launch date up to December 1st...because it's my blog and I can!  Plus, Mr. has teamed up with the US Postal Service and delivered all these nifty packages, so I've got all my materials just staring me in the face...all those books and calendars and schedules and plans and's almost more than I can bear.

This also means that I don't have to come up with a December project for my other blog.  Win-win!