Thursday, August 30, 2012

15 Things I Want Every Woman Under 30 To Know
(and, let's face it, a few over 30)
1.  At some point, there will be a man in your life that you will make an absolute idiot out of yourself over.  He'll walk away and leave you feeling like a fool who's been hit by a truck.  Don't beat yourself up over it.  As time passes, you're more likely to look back and just grin and shake your head, rather than cry.  And let's face it, he was cute.
2.  At another point, you will meet another man that will tempt you to act exactly the same way as you did with the guy in point #1.  This is where you should remember how you felt those first few days after he left, and say "no thanks" to the new candidate.
3.  The guys in points 1 and 2 are probably very similar.  There will be some connecting thread, some personality trait that fires you up, even though you know it's bad for you.  Figure out what it is, and realize that for you, these guys are hookers and coke.  Lots of fun when you are young, but there's no future there, and they are probably hazardous to your health.  Run, Forrest, run.
4.  You look better in those jeans/shorts/dress than you think you do.
5.  You are a woman, and as such, you have an incredible amount of power that you don't even realize.  It's called "femininity."  If you embrace your feminine essence, you are automatically more attractive and empowered.  Seriously.  Give it a shot. Tomorrow.
6.  Don't get drunk in public.  You don't look nearly as sexy as you think you do when you are slack-jawed and glassy-eyed.
7.  Stay out of the sun and your skin will thank you later.
8.  For gawd's sake, get some decent shoes, and stop wearing those Birkenstocks everywhere. 
9.  Don't let anyone else dictate your beliefs to you. Figure out what you believe and why.  If you don't know why you believe something, then guess what, you don't really believe it.  Be open to experience.
10.  Always, always, ALWAYS listen to your gut.  Do not confuse your gut with your brain, your stomach, or your vagina.  You know what I'm talking about - that little voice.  The Universe will tell you what to do and when to do it, and it will frequently use your intuition to do so.  Ignore at your own peril.
11.  Get a little exercise every day.  Be as fanatical or as laid-back as you like about it.  If you want it to be a big deal, then go for it, babe.  But if you are a sloth like me, just make it casual and do it.
12. Any woman with a ciggie hanging out of her mouth automatically looks a little trashier.  I'm sorry, but it's true.  Kick the habit, you know it will kill you, or at least ruin your teeth and skin.
13.  Find something that stirs your passion and make it your "pet" cause.  Don't float through the easiest, healthiest years of your life with no vision.  You will look back in 20 years and kick yourself for wasting so much of your time on stupid shit.  Your time and resources, whatever they might be, are desperately needed by some organization close to you.

14.  Starting your life over isn't the end of the world.  You'll be just fine, and after you do it, you'll wonder why in the hell you were so scared to do it for so long.  If it means leaving a lover, a job, a house, a town, whatever - you'll make it.  And if it's a move you really NEED to make, you will be amazed at the number of people who will step forward to help you.
15.  Buy yourself a birthday present every year.  I buy myself a new perfume.  Celebrate what you've done and what is to come.  Your birthday should be the most important day of the year.  Relish it, baby.  For once in your life, make it all about you.

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