Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Let the Training Commence - I'm Getting Bored.

The answer to our last fire exam question - 'the kitchen'.  Well, DUH.  Of COURSE most household fires start in the kitchen.

I hope you and your families had the merriest of holiday seasons this year.  I got my Wii Fit Plus (woot woot) and I am SO ready to start my physical training next week.  Unsure at this point if I'll be able to complete the strength training portion without the aid of the local gym - golly gee, but all those machines sure do make it simpler  - but I figure I can get a 3-month membership, if push comes to shove.  I'm going to start out here at the house for now.

I also ate.  A lot.  I mean, I really, really ate a lot.  And I ate MEAT.  A lot of meat.  Ham, bacon cheeseburgers topped with a fried egg (OMG, why didn't anyone ever tell me how effin good that tastes), chicken and dumplings.  And then there's the rum cake, the candy, the pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, the banana bread...ugh.  Seriously, by last night, I really just wanted to get my stomach pumped.

I still might.

And I talked to my friends at the Bank today, who told me that I can get a car loan at a really low interest rate.  You should know that I am genetically predisposed to trading my car in every 2 years, and it's been 2 1/2.  I'm flirting with disaster here, and might possibly cause an inadvertent genetic mutation if I don't trade soon.  Actually I think I could cut my car payment and my gas bill significantly if I traded down from the familymobile to a car...red, of course.  We shall see. 

I find myself getting antsy - I need to get moving on my training.  My bff Mike isn't doing any training, and there aren't any fire house events for me to crash this time of year.  So I'm going to dive head-first into my physical training ASAP.

Who's with me? 

(crickets chirping)

Today's exam question:

Considering how closely buildings were spaced together, the kind of materials used in their construction, and the inadequacy of firefighting equipment in the late 1800's and early 1900's, it is not hard to understand why "conflagrations" were not uncommon.  "Conflagrations"most nearly means:

a.  Firefighter strikes
b.  Out-of-control fires
c.  Fire-related medical disabilities
d.  Firefighter fatalities

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Is You Is or Is You Ain't?

Let me end the suspense - the type of saw you use to cut through a tenon joint is a BACK SAW.  Kudos to those of you who chose the correct answer (which was letter "a", by the way) and boo on those of you who just guessed "c" because that's what you did back in school.

Well, I was just thinking today, I haven't been called any nasty names or otherwise verbally abused here on the Internet in, well, MONTHS now, so what the heck, I might as well stick my foot in it.  Feel free - and in fact, PLEASE - leave your comments below on this topic.  I know it's all sorts of fun to put them on my facebook page, but then tens of people around the world will miss out on your witticisms, and we just can't have that, now can we.

Today's topic - "exclusive" relationships.

Here's what I think, my little chickens.   Until a man says to you that he wants to date you, and only you, and asks that you consider not dating anyone else either - YOU ARE NOT EXCLUSIVE.  And when I use the phrase "says to you," I mean with actual WORDS that come PHYSICALLY from his MOUTH.  I don't mean "gestures," "looks," or "sex."  I mean it has to be stated or it just isn't actually true.  And I don't care if it's been 2 weeks, 2 months, or 2 years, baby.

There have been a few times where I assumed that I was in a fantastic relationship - and guess what - I was there all.by.myself.  Turns out each time, the guy wasn't living under that same assumption.  Bummer, huh.

So what do you do if you aren't exclusive?  Well, I'm going to leave that to your comfort level.  I just think that there's no reason why you can't see/talk to/go out with other people if you aren't exclusive.  (Personally, I'm a texter.  I just can't help it.)  If you want to shag them all, well, that's up to you - but darling, you probably shouldn't play with your heart like that.  And you'll also probably get chlamydia.  And it's really embarrassing to be over 25 and have to get treated for an STD, or so I would imagine. 


Anyway, you might be wondering how to address this, should one of your Mr. Rights take issue with your active social calendar.  If he does it aggressively, in a fashion that indicates he's hurt by a perceived infidelity, you can calmly and serenely explain to him that you had no idea he wanted to be exclusive - but you would be open to the discussion (assuming, of course, that you are).  Volley that shit right back at him and see what he does.

However, if he gets all passive on you, and makes comments about "all those other guys who you hang out with", meet his gaze directly, smile a little smile, and say - "well, then, take me off the market."  He will either proceed to do just that, or backtrack so fast the ocean tides might temporarily alter their courses. 

Either way, the exclusive card is officially on the table.  Mr. Right now has to step up and either claim you or let you continue on your merry way.  You maintain your feminine energy, he gets to be all masculine, and all is well with the world.

Thus endeth the lesson.  No need to thank me, dearest.  Your siren sex goddess lives to serve.

Okay, your turn.  Fire away. 

And today's fire exam question (which is a 'duh' question, in my opinion):

In what room of the home is a fire most likely to start?

a.  Kitchen
b.  Garage
c.  Living Room
d.  Bedroom

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Holy Stair Climb, HF!

It's official...I'm going to live.  Your concern for my well-being has been overwhelming, and I extend my heartfelt thanks.  I do look a little pale and peaked, but on a positive note, I dropped a few pounds and so I look a little skinnier today.  Always look on the sunny side of life, babe.

So, tonight I was talking to HF.  If you don't know who HF is, well, you didn't read last year's blog, and so, well...never mind.  Suffice it to say that he's a firefighter and that's all you need to know now.  And if you DID read last year's blog, don't judge me.  Geesh, it's just TALKING, people.

ANYHOW, I was talking to HF tonight, and he off-handedly mentioned that he went up 84 flights of stairs today in full gear.  As you can imagine, my interest was piqued.  As I'm picturing HF rushing into a burning, collapsing, rat-infested decrepit old building, carrying out blind widows and orphans on his broad shoulders, he told me that he's in training for the Scott Stair Climb in Seattle.  Okay, doesn't quite play into my fantasy so much, but still interesting enough to blog about.

(You may recall that we will be there, too, as volunteers - no stairclimbing or gear-wearing necessary for us civvies.  THANK DAWG.  I just have to look cute and hand out water bottles.)

Well, it turns out that he and his posse are training 4 times a week from now until March, 84 flights, sometimes in gear, sometimes not.  This got me to thinking, when was the last time I walked up more than a single flight of stairs?  Um...thinking....um.....

Nope.  It's not coming to me.  Okay, and before you get all self-righteous on me, dearest reader - when was the last time YOU did???  HMMM????????????

This brings us to the fire exam portion of our show...today's question:

What kind of handsaw is used specifically to cut tenon joints?
a.  Back saw
b.  Coping saw
c.  Hacksaw
d.  Saber saw

(Googling the term "tenon joint" is cheating.)

Saturday, December 17, 2011

The Goddess is Sick.

Good evening, my little chickens.  The answer to our last fire exam question:  A.  And to determine that answer, we must invoke the Pythagorean theorem, which if I recall correctly from my days as a Brewster Bear, has something to do with math.

The writing is on the wall - when I get to the math section of this exam - I'm dead meat.

How was your day, you ask? Well, I will tell you.  I was SUPPOSED to go to the Riverside Volunteer Fire Department today, where I was SUPPOSED to see Santa, meet some firemen, and take my picture on a firetruck.  INSTEAD, I went grocery shopping, came home, and threw up.  I'm sick, sick, sick.  What with it being so close to Christmas and all, I didn't think that Santa would appreciate my germs being spread all over him, so I stayed home.

Last night, however - last night was nice.  I got to see Sherlock Holmes 2, which I've been waiting 2 years for - readers of my 2010 blog would certainly know already.  I took my daughter, and beforehand we went to DQ for dinner.  I figured a Siren Sex Goddess deserves one animal product-filled evening per week, so I had a bacon cheeseburger, fries, a malt - then at the theater, about a cup of popcorn, a half a box of Whoppers, and a Cherry Coke. 

Good manners prevents me from describing in detail the effect that this "meal" had upon my digestive system.  Suffice it to say I was bloaty and farty for a good 12 hours.  You know what?  It was so NOT worth it.  I think I'm actually moving past this whole "craving meat" thing.  But as our eating plan's author, The Mighty Rip, can probably attest, it is really challenging to eat fast food as a vegan.  REEEEALLY challenging.

Okay.  Gotta go throw up again.  Enjoy your evening....no exam question for now.  My brain hurts.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Smackdown at Fire School

Let's start off with -the answer to our last fire exam question is...wait for it...   C. 

(The reason you had to wait for it is because it's been so many days since I asked the question, I forgot which flashcard it was on and I had to do a little digging.  Sorry.)

Anyhow, I'm really getting off on the academic stuff.  I'm getting excited to start my studying and training and so forth.  How sick is that.  I can't help it, I love to learn new stuff.  The fact that I will never use it matters not.  

I especially want to go to some live training with my new bff Mike. You see, as a young siren tyke, I was the teacher's pet-ALWAYS.  If any other student showed potential for encroaching on my turf, I initiated a systematic academic takedown which usually resulted in at least one small child crying.  And that small child was NEVER me.  Does it show?  I'm anxious to take down a few firemen.


But I digress.  I bet you are really curious as to how things have been going with me, what with me having this little "quiet time" since Tuesday.  Well, Big Development #1 - my FaceBook status now says I'm "in a relationship."  Yup.  Me and TG.  Go figure.  I know it's pretty 5th grade to even show a relationship status, but it was the most passive way I could come up with to let a select group of gentlemen know that I'm no longer on the market.  And TG didn't freak out and change his phone number or anything, so I guess he's okay with it.

Big Development #2 - I've decided that I can't forever substitute this netbook for a real laptop and am earnestly (sort of) shopping around for a good deal.  I guess if ALL you want to do is surf the net, this little impostor will meet your needs - but I have a blog and my iTunes account to think of, for Dawg's sake. 

Today's question - it involves math, I warn you - (on flashcard 273 so I can find the answer easier):

How much guywire would be required to support a ham radio antenna if the collar to which the guywire is connected is 23 feet off the ground and the anchor turnbuckles are evenly spaced 15 feet away from its base?  (Allow an extra 8 inches for fastening the ends of each of the four wires)
a.  112.52 feet
b.  107.5 feet
c.  101.92 feet
d.  95.78 feet

Good luck, we are all counting on you.  Personally, I'm off to make some Vegan pudding.  Yes, really.  Kat needs something sweet.

ps - what's a "guywire"?

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Triumph and Tragedy

I've had a flash of brilliance.

So as you may or may not remember, our firefighter workout program starts on January 1st.  I have a weight-training program but have been undecided on the cardio part.  I did say, in my intro to this blog, that I was going to do a couch-to-5k program for cardio...but I just said that so my post would be complete.  I didn't actually MEAN it.  I mean, seriously.  Who wants to friggin' JOG when it's 20 degrees outside?  Not Kat.

Anyhow, Christmas is coming, and I always end up with some cash from my parents.  My oldest son has a Wii that's sitting in a box (actually, he has 2, for some strange reason) so I'm thinking I can use my 'Christmas present' money to buy Wii Fit Plus!!   Excited?  Can't you just IMAGINE the opportunities for ultra-embarrassing blog posts, inspired by my complete lack of physical coordination and a boxing video game?

(This is where I need to insert a little note to Mom and Dad - if you were thinking about NOT giving me cash this year, that's okay.  I will appreciate whatever you give me.  Don't let the pressure of ruining my blog and disappointing my entire readership influence your gift-giving decisions in any way.)

And on the heels of brilliance, we find tragedy.  My laptop died on Saturday.  I mean, like, DIED.  It won't even turn on.  So I'm typing this blog post on my oldest son's netbook (which was in the same box as the Wii) and have declared said netbook to be his Christmas present to his dear mother.  He didn't put up much of an argument.  What sucks is, all the pictures I had on my laptop are gone - which hurt my heart a little, all I had left of a few old boyfriends just bit the dust - and I can't quite figure out what I'm going to do about my iTunes account.  This netbook is usable...but SLOW.

I almost forgot to tell you the answer to last post's firefighter exam question - it was 37.5.  You know, people, that was a pretty easy one.  If you got it wrong, we need to discuss your math skills.

Today's question:

Which of the buildings described below offers the least resistance to fire progression?
a.  a four-story townhouse with an elevator and enclosed stairwells.
b.  a four-story condominium with a centrally located enclosed stairwell.
c.  a four-story hotel with an elevator and a centrally located open staircase.
d.  a four-story apartment house with two elevators and enclosed stairwells.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

A Pig, a Frog and a Red Devil

I have news.

So, earlier this week I Googled "Fire Training Eastern Washington" and came across Red Devil Training which is based in the Spokane area.  I emailed the "info" address, explained our little project, and a rather charming firefighter named Mike emailed me back.  He has granted us an open-ended invitation to attend various training sessions in 2012. Oh, and I friended Mike on FaceBook, so we are firefighting bff's now.  I need to wait a few months before I take Mike up on his training offer though-until I've had some study time-so I can impress him with my wicked Fire Wench skills.

Speaking of study, here's today's question:

"The loss of water pressure in a hose can be attributed to friction.  If it is known that the friction loss in 100 feet of 1 1/2 inch hose is 25 pounds per square inch, what will be the friction loss for 150 feet of 1 1/2 hose, assuming all other factors remain constant?
a.  16.67 psi
b.  37.5 psi
c.  47.3 psi
d.  52 psi

Dude, I TOLD YOU there was math. 

On another front:  TG came up last night and we went to The Muppets.  Yes, we went to that movie on purpose.  I love The Muppets, he loves The Muppets; we were both happy.  We also went out to dinner, where a friend and blog reader totally busted me for eating a chicken sandwich.  I know, I know. But people, it was DATE NIGHT.  I'm back on the wagon today. Repeat after me:  "Fire Fighting Siren Sex Goddesses do NOT eat anything with a face or a mother (except on Date Night)."

My biggest regret was not that I fell off the wagon, but that I wasted it on a CHICKEN SANDWICH instead of a steak.