Take a Knee

So, Thursday is my last day of work.  Then I am unemployed - for the first time, basically, in my adult life. 

(Pause here to throw up in mouth a little)

I've applied for a lot of jobs, and I'm still at the point where I'm applying for the "gee, this sounds like a great place to work"-type jobs.  In about 2 weeks, that will morph into "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I WILL DO ANYTHING LEGAL IN THE STATE OF WASHINGTON FOR MONEY"-type jobs.  There's this one place that my gut says would be wonderful for me (you guys know I'm all zen and crap, right-I listed to my 'inner voice') but on paper, I'm woefully underqualified.  I can do the job - but I just need to get in front of the bosses.  Hopefully they will see past the lack of "education" and "work experience" (she rolls her eyes at the elitest intonation of those words) and give Kat a shot.

Go Kat Go.

Well, in addition to pending unemployment, you all know I've been dealing with SP's cancer.  No news, really, on that front.  No news is good news, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

At this point I think I'm going to enlighten you all as to an average day in the life of Kat, as told through her text messages and phone conversations.  Serious as a heart attack, this all happened today.  Perhaps when we are done, you can register and leave a comment to explain why I'm single.  I'm at a loss.

First up:  Texting Alex.

Kat:  I hurt my knee last night.  The truth is, I smacked it on a TV in my garage, but I'm going to tell everyone I did it saving orphans from a burning building.
Alex:  OMG that's funny.
Kat:  It's killing me today.
Alex:  Maybe you shouldn't mess with a tv.
Kat:  No, remember - burning building, orphans.  I carried a charged fire hose 100 stories up the stairs too.
Alex:  Why would you bring a charged line up 100 flights when there are standpipes on every floor.
Kat:  The orphanage was not up to code.  Do you know how many orphans you can pack into 100 stories?  I had to make 300 trips to rescue them all.  It took me almost 20 MINUTES.
Alex:  You are so full of it.

Second up:  SP texting, followed by a phone call

Kat:  I tried to call you today, I got a message saying your phone number didn't work.
SP:  Upgrading phone, stand by.
(a few hours later, placed a call to SP)
Kat:  You upgraded your phone?  That's the most optomistic thing I ever heard.
SP:  Got an iPhone.  There's an app for everything.
Kat:  How is your pain level today?
SP:  Bad.  I don't want to end up as a cancer statistic.
Kat:  Well, darling, either way, you will be a statistic, if you think about it - the type of statistic is up for grabs.
SP:  You really should not consider a career as a hospice transition counselor.
Kat:  So noted.


Okay, I just re-read all that - maybe you don't need to comment after all.  Sigh.