Well, the Stair Climb is rapidly approaching - a month away. My Stevens County boys have been training their sweet little hearts out. 1311 stairs - 60+ pounds of gear - these are my boys.
To show my support for the team, as the Internet's reigning Firefighter Advocate, I decided yesterday that I would start training with them (remotely, of course, because they are 150 miles away). There's no "practice building" for me here in the middle of nowhere, but I have a step and a lap counter. If my boys can do this with all that gear, certainly I can do it with just little old me, right? I have, after all, DAYS of fitness training behind me. Why, in March, I'll just JOG to the top of the tower for my volunteer post! No elevator for me, thank you.
So, with counter in hand and King of the Hill on the TV, off I went. Step-click-step-click-step-click-step-step-click- DAMN!
Focus, Tina. Focus.
About 10 minutes into it, I noticed a not unpleasant burning in my calves. Wow, this feels great! I must be halfway up the building by now. Firefighters throw rose petals at my feet as I jog past.
Five minutes later, it was more of a "click...click...click....click...." We must pace ourselves, after all.
It all gets foggy around now as I fall in and out of consciousness, but I do recall a "click........................click...............click............................................clllllllllliiiiiiiiicccccccccccckkkkkkkkkk" sound before I hit the floor.
As I lay there, staring up my sweet bachelorette pad ceiling (gee, when did it get textured?) I flopped my head back and forth spasmodically, looking for my little tally counter. Turns out it rolled out of my lifeless hand and landed under the futon. I reached for it...flipped it over...and it said: 523.
523. That puts me somewhere around floor 27.
Scene - The Columbia Tower, Floor 27, during the Scott Stair Climb. Firefighter Mike and Firefighter Sean come rumbling up the stairs, taking 2 at a time, when Mike catches an inert object out of the corner of his eye.
Firefighter Mike: Do you see that? What is it?
Firefighter Sean: It looks like a woman. Sort of.
Tina: gargraahhhh arrgghhlll.
FM: Dude, what do we do? I was really hoping to shave a few minutes off my time this year.
FS: (Throwing what's left of Tina over his broad shoulder) No problem, I'll just carry her the rest of the way. We're only looking at 40 more stories.
Tina: graagghhh rrrlll mmmmrrrddd??
FS: What did she say?
FM: I think she just asked you if you are married.
FS: Wow, Firefighter Mike! Do you know who this is???!!!! This is KAT!!!!! I read her stuff every day!!!! I can't believe how FORTUNATE I am to carry her up these stairs!!!
FM: Uh, I think she just threw up a little on you.
I have a month....I can only go up from here, right? Tomorrow I bet I can make it to, uh, FLOOR 28! WHO'S WITH ME?