So I was at the gym the other day, slogging it out on the treadmill, and noticed a rather industrious woman on the machine next to me reading a nursing textbook whilst she slogged. It took a moment - a long moment - and then: Eureka! I can study my firefighter exam books on the treadmill! I'm a genius!
The gym is actually a noisy little place, so I fired up my iPod, set up my "Firefighter Exam for Dummies" book up on the little bookstand, and away I went. Brilliant! Stupendous! Two Birds - One Stone! I am amazing.
This is when it happened...what I like to call my "Something Shiny Syndrome." My heart, it's pure. My intentions, noble. I have every plan, every hope of going all out when I decide to do something...and then BAM! Something shiny diverts my attention. I can't help it. I think, in fact, I should qualify for some sort of disability payment from some Federal agency. I just haven't been able to focus long enough to research exactly which agency that might be.
So, there I was, reading my little heart out... "Cross ventilation uses the natural wind direction, if possible, to aid in creating a flow of air from the windward to the leeward side of a..."
(Ain't nothin but a heartache, Ain't nothin but a mistake...I never want to hear you saaaayyy....I want it tha.......)
GAH! Distracted by those Backstreet Boys! Focus, Tina. Focus.
"The use of a water fog stream, a hose nozzle that creates a large volume of fine...particles..of...water..."
(I think I better git in line git in line git in line yeah...git in line git in line git in line yeah...cuz every nig...)
STOP! NO PITBULL! STUDY!
"Hazardous material stored in fixed facilities such as tanks or buildings require....proper...iden.tii..ffii..ccccccaaa...."
(There's a CARTOON on the TV in the gym! Who picked this channel, seriously? Why would anybody on the cardio machines want to watch cartoons? And look at that chain that the TV is suspended from. Wow, that's a big chain. I wonder where you would buy a chain like that. I wonder if they got it at Home Depot. I wonder what time Home Depot closes......)
And on. And on. And on.
This lasted for, oh, 45 minutes when I decided to stop trying to read about buildings and hazardous materials and San Fransisco tools and New York tools and ....uh...well, yeah. My recall fails. I do know I spent 15 additional study-free minutes on the treadmill watching cartoons. Those I remember.