Sunday, July 29, 2012

Study, Study, Study.

I have spent my week furiously studying for the fire exam.  "All-Purpose Saw" - slam dunk.  "Methods of Forcible Entry" - aces, baby.

"Reasoning Skills" - 75%.  uh oh.

In my defense, the developers of this exam prep book are assuming that people like me have already STUDIED fire science, have a basic concept of fire suppression, and know about boy stuff, like pike poles and breaking windows.  I know none of these.  In fact, the list of things Kat knows nothing about seems to be growing daily.

So when I see a drawing of two firefighters, one on a roof and one on the ground, a ladder between them halfway up in the air with ropes hanging from the top and bottom, and am asked why the firefighter on the ground is holding onto that rope - my guess was, he's pulling the ladder down from the roof.  The correct answer - he's keeping the ladder from smashing into the building while the guy on the roof lowers it.  I feel my guess was perfectly reasonable, don't you?

In fact, I'm officially declaring "pulling the appliance down from the roof" as the CORRECT answer and am re-scoring my test accordingly.

Now I'm to "Hand Tools", which is a 98-question test.  Ugh.  I did have a flash of brilliance last night; I'm going to copy the pages from the exam book and make myself a set of flash cards.  I've been studying Hand Tools for 2 days.  You may be admiring my dedication to the exam process and my need for perfection - but reality is, the next section is MATHEMATICS, and if spending 2 weeks memorizing different types of wrenches puts that crap off for just a bit longer, so be it.

Oh, like you wouldn't do the same thing.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Kat is Cordless

Do you see this?  Take a moment.

This little gem from Pier 1 Imports has joined our blog atmosphere.  It is now hanging in the kitchen of the Sweet Bachelorette Pad.  Each little black clothespin holds a white index card which has our daily training agenda and/or activities for the coming week.  If you could see mine, you would note that this coming week, we are going through Chapters 8 through 11 of the Barron's Firefighter Study Guide, and that on Saturday, we have a fire event in Idaho.  The 2 extra squares hold a photo of my kids and a cool quote of the week.

Why didn't I just take a nice photo of MY frame for you, you ask?  Well, I assure you, I certainly did.


Methinks, dearest reader, that it is either languishing in a box in my closet, which has yet to be unpacked; or that perhaps, in a moment of weakness, a certain offspring of mine absconded with said cord during the hustle and bustle of the move, and said offspring has yet to return Mommy's special retractable cord that she bought especially for this particular camera.

Of course, I'M SURE that isn't the case.  I'M SURE it must be in one of the VERY FEW BOXES that remain unpacked.

(Insert skeptical brow raise here.)

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Kat and the City

So, my youngest left today to spend the rest of his summer with his father, 175 miles from mommy.  I've been actively raising children for 23 years; I've never, ever, EVER been alone for 6 weeks.  EVER.  (Well, there was that time my parents left me at the rest stop, but I've blocked most of that out.)

In what may qualify me for the "Worst Mother of the Year" award, I'm actually looking forward to it.  He is, after all, 13; it's not like he's a toddler who will be crying into his pillow every night for me.  I'm single, in a new city, with a new job and a new apartment, and it's summertime.  I will be able to work on my fire program, hopefully get some fire house tours in, and who knows -maybe a ridealong or two.  And then there is, of course, my social life.  No reason to be home at any given time, other than to get myself to work on time the next morning.  I was just gifted a bike by a friend of my dad's - if I want to get off work, grab a bagel, jump on my bike and hit the Centennial Trail until dark (which, by the way, is right next to my place), well, so be it.  No reason not to!  Nobody to make dinner for; nobody to even have to PLAN dinner for.  And the social events!  Just imagine how the invitations will flow in from all my new co-workers!

I met my ex at the "halfway point", which happens to be a grocery store, at 3:00.  I picked the bike up at 4:30.  At 5, I went to the mall to pick up something I had ordered earlier in the week and get a pretzel, cuz that's how us single, kid-free women roll. 

And in the spirit of free-wheeling singleness, I stopped in Victoria's Secret.  Now for those of you who don't recall, I'm about 60 pounds lighter than I was this time last year, and well, I think I'm looking pretty darned sweet.  So off I go to look at stuff that I couldn't have wore last year, checking myself out in every full-length mirror I see.  I hit the fragrance section - VS has great perfumes, don't they - and found one that really grew on me.  I think it was called "Tease" but don't quote me on that.  Anyhow, some girl who probably isn't even legally old enough to work in the state of Washington comes up to me and says, "Can I help you?"

"Oh, I'm just looking at these fragrances.  This one is just delicious."  (I said "delicious" because that's how sexy people talk.)

Too Young To Work looks at the bottle in my hand and says, "Oh, yes.  That's the one MY MOM likes."


Leave it to me to ping on "Old Lady Smell" in Victoria's Secret.  Do I even need to mention that no sale was made?

By 5:30, I had left voice messages for most of the people I know, telling them about this scandal at Victoria's Secret.

By 5:45, I had texted everyone else I know, asking them uber-important stuff like "What are you doing?" and "COME VISIT ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE."

It's now 7:20, and if it wasn't still daylight outside, I would go to bed.

How many more days until the end of August?

Sunday, July 8, 2012


I am moved...I am unpacked....I have Internet again.....

I feel complete.

It is not, however, wireless - that will require a trip to some big box store to buy a router - so I'm tethered to the modem by a 7-foot cord.

What is this, 1993?

I start my new job tomorrow - I haven't a clue what I'll be doing - and badda bing, badda boom, it's back to my fire blog.  You, my dearest reader, could not have possibly missed me any more than I've missed you.